We're facebook friends in real life
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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