it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
