No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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