New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so let's talk penis.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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