i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
