Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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