let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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