Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
