so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
