do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize