the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
