We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
