Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
