I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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