So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
