you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
