i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's like heaven, but drunker
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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