Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
