He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
