just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
