Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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