it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
