i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
