The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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