ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
