The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
