she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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