Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Less talking, more tequila
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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