You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
