So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize