"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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