I hate your face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
