Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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