i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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