I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
