Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Watching her eat just hurts me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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