so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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