ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
