She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Screwed.edu
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
