Yo dont text me then not text me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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