Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
