My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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