I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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