omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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