tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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