im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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