y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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