i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
