Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
