dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
