Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
