Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
