Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
