She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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