I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
