Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
