Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
