The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
