I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
