omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize