I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
