Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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