I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
