Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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