Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
