thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize